~ more here ~
Oh To Be Skinny
• i will get out of bed earlier because I can’t wait to get ready for the day.
• choosing outfits will be more fun because I will already look good with my skinny body and long glossy hair
• I will have more space in shower or bathtub
• I would have no more problems when shaving legs or putting shoes on because my stomach won’t be in the way anymore
• I will wear my beautiful high heels again all day because I will be light and my feet won’t hurt after an hour.
• even putting make up on will be easier. Because I will have cheekbones and won’t have to contour my face. Only blush, mascara, lipstick and go
• also my ass would look bomb af in tight skinny jeans.
I can’t wait to loose weight.
So I had a dream that I had met my Ultimate Goal Weight, it was so beautiful I cried when I woke up. This is how it happened, its kinda long.
My mom is literally thinspo at home, all day, every day, 365 days a year. 5'8, size 0, thigh never touch even when sitting, D boobs, tiny waist, and size 6 in rings. I use to always be her size too until puberty hit and my depression kicked in. I just ate and read my books, so i got fat- 200lbs of fat. Being 5'10 I could carry it well but I was still “big”.
I went home Halloween week to see my mom because I took time off and it was her birthday. It was a chilly fall morning and I had just got out of the car from an 8 hour drive. We were hugging and everyone in the family (aunts, uncles, and cousins) gathered at my grandmother house for the day to play and eat dinner. I walked inside the house with my bags and put them in the spare bedroom of my grandmothers’ house. There was a full length mirror in the corner of the bedroom raised on its legs (It was one of those tilty mirrors). My mom walks in, in all her beautiful glory and stands next to me in the mirror, leaning her chin on my boney shoulders. It was then that I had realized my shoulders were small and my collarbones could cut glass, jutting out from my skin. It continued to dawn on me and look at the rest of my body, it was just like her- small wrists, dainty waist, thigh gap that you could fit a book though. It was beautiful, I was beautiful, I felt euphoric. I had accomplished everything I wanted in life and I could FINALLY stand confidently in the mirror next to my mom who was smiling at me. She was beaming with pride at the women I had become and so had I.
It was so palpable to me I almost forgot it wasn’t real. I know what I look like under these pounds of fleash, just like my mom. And that is what give me so much motivation, even now. I was 200lbs at 18 and obease, I dropped 60 lbs in 2 month and it wasn’t easy.
All the long nights of hunger pains so bad I felt like i was dying.
The amount of exercise I would still do even though I had beeen fasting for 3 days; I felt like my heart would be out of my chest.
The dinners I missed out on even when we went on vacation out of the country.
But, it was all worth it, every single bit of it. I loved feeling smaller every, single, day.
I got comfortable with my weight and how good it felt. People were complimenting me, asking me how I did it and I wasn’t even skinny. I was considered “average” for my weight and age. But I have decided to continue on with my weightloss transformation and become a better me.
So this is my motivational letter to myself.
I will lose that 40lbs before Halloween, and 20more lbs by Christmas to reach my UGW!!!
Because I’m a lil tired of the typical “I want a guy to notice me”… I just want something real
When you’re thin:
~you will feel your shoulder blades trying to slice through your back like bony little wings
~your under eye circles will become magnificent, like watercolour pools showing your dedication to this skinny hell
~your waist will be so tiny, everyone will have to wrap their arms around up to the elbows to hug you
~your bony knees knock together when you sit in your seat in the classroom, it’s a little uncomfortable but your thighs are so far apart it’s like they’re estranged sisters at thanksgiving dinner
~you’re so lightheaded, that you see stars all the time- your world has turned into a fucked up planetarium
~those collar bones don’t just “hold water”- they cut glass. They are clavicles some people would die for
~the boniness of your fingers feel so good clasped in the hand of another, like a string of pearls wrapped in silk
~you stay home instead of eating out with your friends- it’s bittersweet. You draw pictures of food instead, you work out, or drink tea.
~people will be a little scared or worried around you. You won’t mean to- but your body is too fluttery for them not to feel a little unnerved
This is terrifyingly beautiful to me
Please don’t eat. PLEASE don’t eat. I know you think you don’t care right now. But you will. Look at all those clothes you want to buy when you’re skinny. Don’t you want to have those thin thighs and a small waist? Don’t you want to be delicate? Please don’t eat, honey. You can do this. You don’t need food. You’ll be okay. Just get through the day, and you can eat tomorrow. PLEASE look at thinspo, try as hard as you can to get back into this mindset. You can do this. You WILL be skinny.
You look at yourself in the mirror and all you see is your imperfect. All you see if the fat that hangs off your could be amazing, skinny body. And even as my clothes start to get lighter and my mom watches my eating, I don’t believe I’ve lost weight. I am still the fat beast I was.
You made yourself fat. You can make yourself as skinny as you want.
Most thinspo/Ana blogs on tumblr are not pro Ana. No one is interested in encouraging others to develop a seriously fucked up and dangerous eating disorder. Blogs that post thinspo pics are usually run by teenagers/young adults who are going through hell and would be starving themselves anyway. By reporting and shutting down those blogs, you take away people’s safe spaces, their outlets, and their community. You are helping no one. No one gets an eating disorder because they saw someone on tumblr post a picture of someone thin. You’re not being noble, you’re not saving anyone, you’re being rude and taking something away from someone who already has nothing. If someone gets their thinspo blog deleted, they’re not going to be like “oh well, gonna eat normally now and be totally healthy, cool”. They make a new one and hate you. My blog is for no one else. It is for me. If I couldn’t have it, I would be sad because I wouldn’t have a community and a way to find people going through the same thing, but I would still have an eating disorder and I would just make a new blog. The last thing anyone wants is to help someone else develop a mental illness. Tumblr doesn’t have an option to make your blog private. Stop shutting people down for having an outlet. Most of us have 3 followers anyway.
so true. and yes, you can make a blog private but you have to make it a second blog anyway and that is really unnecessary.
this is the truest thing i’ve ever seen.
PREACH!!!!🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻
Don’t normally share things.
But this.
so true
important!!!!
fucking yes
Soo I don’t have 3 followers but still this is really important. I try to not influence anybody in a bad way (or worse than themselves).💖🍃
THIS NEEDS TO BE REPOSTED ENDLESSLY SO MUCH LOVE!!!
